I want to take this opportunity to talk about the new perspective I’ve taken in life and towards the things that make me happy. Light can’t exist without darkness, and similar to that, my happiness can’t exist without the obstacles I’ve overcome and the unpleasant people I’ve learned to let go. It’s so easy to give advice when you see your friends struggle at work or in personal relationships, but it’s definitely harder to take your own advice because we are forced to admit we made a mistake. But in order to care for yourself, you have to be brave enough to look inwardly and reflect. In the coming weeks, I will like to talk to you about the several ways I approach Self-Care: self-reflection, getting intimately in touch with my sexuality and body, healthy eating --- to name a few. Let’s start this week with how I learned to self-reflect and love myself endlessly.
Maybe you’re like me, ready to be vulnerable and romantic in the name of love. In the past, I wasn’t afraid to explore my capacity to love – but I was also not ready to get hurt a lot. I dated around 6 guys in a short period of time, thinking that if one wasn’t right, I could just find someone else who would care for me like I did for them. After dating for so long and looking for love in the wrong places, I realized that I wasn’t loving myself first and foremost. That’s when I decided to stop dating and simply went celibate. I discovered the joy of being in the company of myself and the peace of mind that came with it. I got to know myself in a much deeper way by keeping a journal to collect my thoughts. Now, my desires are clear and the goals I want to accomplish are easier to plan out.
I am now a better version of myself. I know what I want because all of my energy goes to looking out for myself and loving the person I look in the mirror. Self-reflection has taught me to communicate better and ask for what I want. I used to be very closed-off, afraid of speaking up, but now I communicate more with people, especially when I’m feeling unappreciated. I will not assume stuff because that creates problems. Instead, I will find out what’s bothering me and see if it’s worth dealing with it or not. Communication has helped me to love myself so much that I can forgive and let things go. I will not carry the weight of petty issues, let alone someone else’s problems.
I am stronger now and have learned to say NO. I trust my gut and have no reservations to say no to things I am not comfortable with. If I want to spend time with myself, on the couch watching a show, instead of going out to party with my friends – guess what? – I can easily say “No, thanks” and relax in the comfort of my own home. By learning to love myself endlessly I’ve created a path toward stability. I am all about NO DRAMA. Boy trouble is a thing of the past because I am my first and only priority and staying celibate is important to me. In fact, celibacy has allowed me to get in touch with my body in ways I did not know I could.
Stay tuned for next week when I talk about how masturbation plays an important role in Self-Care and your overall health.